


Fuck Me

by Imagine_Dinosaur



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Bottom Draco, Draco being his bitchy self, Draco got knocked up, Draco is a dick all the time, Drarry, Drunk Harry is Player Harry, First time writing, Fluff, Harry is a dick in the start, Harry is a horny bastard, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M, Mpreg, Oblivious Harry, Pregnant Draco, Top Harry, Top Harry Potter, Wizarding World, by harry, have mercy, maybe smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 07:42:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11939484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imagine_Dinosaur/pseuds/Imagine_Dinosaur
Summary: “Fuck me.”“Oh! Don’t you mean fuckme?”“Sod off, Malfoy.”In which the-chosen-one knocked up the ferret.





	Fuck Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, Harry is horny as fuck.

~~A few pints of fire whiskey can transform a timid Harry Potter into an egotistical James Potter.~~

“Liven up mate, Voldieshorts is gone! We are graduating and Hermione finally said yes to me.” Ron’s words were nothing but drunken slurs as the 8th year Gryffindors somehow managed to sneak bottles of fire whiskey in the Gryffindor Common Room to celebrate their graduation. Harry watched as Neville chugged down the fifth bottle of fire whiskey, his classmates chanting and cheering like drunken fans they are. A nudge from Ron brought the-boy-who-lived-twice back to the quiet corner of the common room both of them currently occupied. What were they talking about? Oh, something about Voldemort, graduating and Harry being in a pissy mood. Anyway… “Hermione said yes to whom?” Harry asked alarmingly, looking around in hopes of finding that bastard who dared to steal Hermione from his best mate. A loud guffaw escaped from Ron as he tried to slap Harry’s shoulder, which led to Ron missing his aim and nearly falling out of his chair. “To me, Harry! She finally said yes to move in with me after graduation.” Ron’s face was stretched into a permanent grin. Harry took a long chug of his drink and grinned back at Ron. “Congratulations, mate! You finally got the balls to ask her after almost a year of sulking.” Harry said, causing Ron to flush crimson. “Ya know ‘arry you transform into a pit prat after a few pints of Firewhiskey,” Ron said as he finally calmed his burning face. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Now if you excuse me, I see a wonderful lady admiring me from afar. Must not keep her waiting.” Harry said, skillfully dodging his admirers and swaggering over to Lacy Williams, a fellow 8th year. 

Ron, now abandoned by his mate laughed smugly to himself and wondered how much Harry is going to regret drinking bottles upon bottles of Firewhiskey.

***

“Oh, what good deed I’ve done for Ms Williams to be looking at me with such a loving gaze?” Harry asked playfully. Lacy Williams was an alright looking girl, with baby blue eyes, long luscious blonde waves and oh so curvy figure. The young lady in question giggled as Harry pulled her closer to him by looping his hands around her waist. “Such humble words, Mr Potter won’t get you in my knickers.” That’s another thing Harry found attractive about Ms Williams, tongue as sharp as a knife. “Do not muse over the words my lady, it’s the speaker you have to watch out for.” Before Lacy could even process Harry’s words, his lips were on hers.

***

After a heated make out session with Macy- Lacy Williams excluding the part where he finally got her knickers in an empty boy’s dorm, Harry found himself joining Neville for a drinking duel. “Chug! Chug! Chug!” echoed around the two heroes as bottles upon bottles of fire whiskey were being emptied. The duel ended when Neville began throwing up in his half-filled jar of fire whiskey and an attractively shy bloke caught Harry’s attention. Harry usually doesn’t go for the shy ones but he usually never gave two fucks when he was drunk and horny. 

***

“Where is Harry?” Ron asked his group of friends. “Dunno.” Ginny answered from his latest boyfriend’s lap. 

“Maybe it has something to do with Lacy Williams limping after she finally showed up,” Seamus answered, not even looking up from where he was playing exploding snap with Seamus, Hermione and Neville, who finally stopped throwing up and was somewhat sober after a few bottles of sobering potions from Hermione. “Dude, Ew! I don’t want to know which dorm Harry and Lacy Williams ruined.” Neville complained, looking ready to throw up once again. “Someone find that guy and shove some sobering potions down his throat.”

***

The party was in full swing now. Drunken sixth, seventh and eighth years crowded the whole common room, the other students had taken refuge in their dorms so that they can sleep before travelling back to their home for summer vacations.

Harry stumbled down the stairs of boy’s dormitory followed by Troy Noon. Giving the blushing boy a crooked grin, Harry let the crowd guide him.

***

“You have to admit Harry plus a few pints of fire whiskey is as good as watching Snape doing pole dance- Ow! You know it was funny- Argh! Stop. Hitting. Me. Woman.” Hermione glared disapprovingly at her Boyfriend. “At least respect a dead man Ronald!” She scolded.

Seamus snickered from where he sat on Dean’s lap, 

“Careful Ron, if you keep that up, you will be sleeping on the couch even before you two move in.” He jeered. 

“Stuff it, Finnigan.” 

“Well, now when I think about it.” 

“Mione no!”

***

“Anyone knows where Harry is?” Ron asked his friends for the nth time. “Does it have something to do with Troy Noon walking with a limp and moaning every time someone bumps into him?” Dean asked with a sly smirk. “I think I'm going to throw up.” Neville slurred from where he sat.

“Man, drunk Harry is leaving a trail of abused holes in his wake.”

Seamus cackled loudly.

Neville threw up.

***

Harry Potter was many things. But right now, he was just very very horny. He would probably regret shagging every person he stumbled upon, but right now? #YOLO  
Grinding against a really pretty redhead (he made sure that it wasn't Ginny.) Harry roamed his eyes around the thinning crowd. It was getting late and some of the younger years were leaving. 

Looking around the room, Harry froze.

What the bloody hell?

***

“Harry! Finally found you. What do you think you are doing? Shagging every person you see. It’s fucking disgusting mate." Ron said, but Harry wasn't listening. He was looking around wildly, searching for the mass of silver blonde hair in the sea of Gryffindors.

Only one thought was on Harry's mind as he wrenched himself out of Ron's grasp and began ploughing down the crowd of Gryffindors.

What the fuck was Malfoy doing here?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing anything related to fanfiction. Also, English is my second language. You have been warned.


End file.
